Drove my chevy to the levee
Disclosure This piece was originally written 15 years ago. I no longer have any shit to say about George Lucas and what he does with his movies, tinkering with them. Things have been edited here. Some commas got sent to the wood shed. I do commas like a five year old does rose petals at a wedding. I also snipped out a piece or two, where i knew what i was saying but I said it with too many words. Sometimes I was trying to be clever, other times I just should have come back and edited again. PS
I hear Hunter S Thomson offed himself....
My first Hunter S Thompson book was Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Gerard had just died, and to get away, I took a trip with a family that Gerard and I were close too. The Smiths were part of a americanized (and international) Yoga movement known as Siddha Yoga, which has a decent foothold here in the states, a large presence in New York and California, and some satellite offices in other states where a lot of members live.
I don’t want to be a part of some Google search and be seen saying flippant things about Siddha itself, because as an organization that I was a fringe member of for two years, it seemed pretty nice, just Americanized a bit, and in that I mean, that enlightenment (courses building towards it) had an optional fiscal cost. Organizations must survive, and survival will come from the largesse of its members. Besides, I don’t know a better group of harmonious people, and they have incredibly reasonable rates for the common pilgrim seeking spiritual and physical refugee.
Laurie and myself were both very close to Gerard, she invited me with her family to travel to New York to the Siddha Ashram (an annual family retreat), a huge facility nestled in the woods. And when I say huge, I mean this facility had auditoriums, various levels of housing, support buildings, retreat sites, it is amazingly huge. And for a philo-ligous place, it is one of those places where you register like you’re in a resort, choosing lodging and how you want to stay. The lowest tier of living participation involves working on the site while you stay; the next stage up is to do a dorm scenario. In all the living arrangement tiers which went from part time working, to getting your own Chalet, basic food is free as is basic services for meditation. It was interesting and amazing, I should do it again sometime, it was a very positive experience.
I took a few books with me, Fear And Loathing in Las Vegas was one of them, I read it at night, with a book light, the same way I’d been reading since I was a kid, pre e-reader. I bunked with four people, including a hunky, (blonde all over) guy who was not shy about his nudity or his dangle. Oh to be thin and good looking. So it was a bit peculiar, and my initial comfort was to escape into myself those first few days. I mean, this is a story about my trip to the Catskill Mountains to stay at a Yoga Ashram while I mourned the loss of my friend and read one very fucked up book. And for that week I skeptically spent my daylight among the happiest and most positive people I’ve ever met, this is not exaggeration, and I allowed myself to participate in their practices and explanation of their philo-ligion, and when time was my own, more often at night then during the day, I would read Fear and Loathing. And I never laughed so much in my life, that strange book about drugs and writing, came to be such a comfort.
I basked in upbeat people during the day, stared at the most brilliant clouds, and felt a greater disconnect with the Chrisitan (manmade) God I’d grown use to not understanding, but at night I laughed. HST will be most remembered for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (thankfully not his ESPN series, or say The Curse of Lono), And Vegas is a interesting book, not just cause it’s about drugs and a sharp interpretation of how your psyche changes on drugs (if you’ve seen the movie on TBS and were turned off read the book fool) Vegas ends up being a book about being way outside the outskirts of behavior acceptable to society, it also doesn’t let up, it stays raw and ridiculously intense. It is sometimes hard to imagine that he wrote anything after that, but he did, a strange bibliography which forked on politics and counter culture. I mean this is the guy who honestly meant it when he said "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
I can’t say that it was Hunter S Thomson who saved me from suicide or a depressing life, turning me around and making me a better citizen, but that book, that page turning solace where I didn’t feel guilty to enjoy something was a huge help. In addition to that sojourn to one of the most peaceful places I’d ever had the opportunity to travel to. Hunter did turn me on for a long time to some great reading, and a awesome sense of individualism. If you’ve never read his books, his body of work is worth the read. Wikipedia is a great place to begin referencing his work and life. click here. And of course when I was told about his death (I’ve been offline for over a week) my comment was not glib or from sadness. What a full life Hunter S Thomson led, and if anyone had the right to choose to end their life, surely it was that man.
We are savage to those who show brilliance and dare to still walk the earth as mortals…
Good for Hunter. Where was he in the end? I don’t know, so hard to be a writer, persona and have to constantly live up to what you have created, being larger then life is a bitch. But if you vaguely know Hunter S Thomson, through his work and writing, you know if he wanted to check out, it was his call. So we should celebrate his passing, whether he chose it for good reasons or not. Some people whined cause She Who Moved On cracked about HST blowing his brains out like hemingway, which was a bit of a generalization. They both blew there brains out and were writers, similarities stop there though I think, but does anyone genuinely think HST would be bothered by some other writer saying some shit like that, probably not.
If you are interested in Siddha Yoga, you can check learn more from there website. click here. A very interesting culture to observe and participate in, and while I can not say that I was a true follower for the two years that I skirted and observed this group of people, I can honestly say I learned about positive healing through associating with positive people. So strange to be so isolated and in pain, and surrounded by such spiritually centered people, not that fake California friendly vibe, just people channeling good energy, it helped me, as opposed to say converting me, and did not require me to believe, did not make me uncomfortable. . And, if you ever think about killing yourself, first consider an intervention of family and friends. And if you are considering suicide, you probably aren’t too in tune with the thought of calling everyone up and asking for help, likewise you might not be in the mood for people to suggest you just check into a local mental health institute, but they do have some good drugs and will flush your system good. But, if you’re online, suicidal and (or just) bored here is one link with some good advice click here.
And here is a google search query to get you started as well. click here.
Cutting room floor…
And this is kinda funny, but did you know that there is a group called The American Association of Sucidology. Interesting huh. This is one of their site pics, captures the feeling of being suicidal to a T, minus the fact it's a group of kids, and they all look cute and cool. dumb bastards. It's really has a "Night of the Liviing Cute Kids" kinda vibe, probably terrifies parents though.
Interesting comments from that time
Kurt Loder kept it real, criticism and respect in one piece, fab.“The melancholy fact is that Hunter pretty much peaked in the early '70s.” link is here: http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1497300/20050222/index.jhtml?headlines=true
And as far as what She Who Moved On said, she had another agenda, one which references her opinion of suicide being bad (And HSTs death being a bit dull, whatever that meant) which she went on further to do with her little LJ buddies, and finally, she was still wrong (we get the Hemingway reference) just the deaths weren’t the same. The truth is that for many (most of my friends who also happen to loathe She Who Moved On BTW) Hunter was a worshipped icon, a man admired of his work (do you follow folks). But She Who Moved On knew this as well, she has a different audience though, and a different network of friends, so what she said was quite rude for many of us, who took time to be sad at the results of Hunter taking his own life.
I celebrate the dead, I mourn only the living dead. So I didn’t really care what she said, I don’t begrudge her her opinion, nor do I think much of it, it was a simple observation I thought. It’s interesting also, so many people think that suicide is either a.) horrible, b.) not the right of someone to choose, when they want to end their own life. And usually they disregard the fact that if it’s so freaking god awful that you take a gun and put it to your head, if you smoke yourself folks, you gotta be in some godawful pain, the whole selfish thing is true, but kinda trite compared to laying a blank canvas down and painting your passing with it.
If you wanna kill yourself go on, you will be missed, your pain will be ended, but your wake is wide and disruptive, maybe like that negative energy that resided in yourself exploding, becoming shrapnel, and being finally released upon those people you held dear and/or stopped caring for.
I could care less of what her opinion of his death was (his death is irrelevant actually), if you love Hunter S Thomson keep on loving him, keep on respecting him. The finger that pulls a trigger, the hand that fashions a noose, it is desperation, never the idol you grew to love, that’s obvious right?
