Phase 3 pre production thoughts

Before you make a lot of money these are some of the thoughts that will go through your head. 

“This will change things”

“I can finally..." I like this one.  It is true, you can finally -insert here-, and that's what people usually do, but whatever amount of money you make, it is finite.  And those things you wanted to do weren't usually big enough in thinking (making that spend count for years, not just now,) and few of them very rarely every return on "investment".

One of the ways to think about it is that I have enough money to not work for 8 years and three months.  That aint bad, but that still leaves me ten years from when I could ever imagine cracking into my retirement and social security.  So I probably shouldn't do that.  Besides, spending the money on the rent, or on things that are immediately apart of my past are not going to make me more money.  I might get some experiences, or things out of it, but i'm not going to make more money using money in that fashion.

This does change things, but it is somewhat anticlimatic.  The real story isn't about the money, don't get me wrong, making money is GREAT! The secret is not having debt.  I've been telling myself that for fifteen years and it has been hard for me at times, but that was just cause I knew I could dive in and get back out, but it didn't benefit me to do it.  The last few times it has happened, I should have not done it.  

Another way to put it is to say “Being close to having no debt, but not having much saved means you’re always clawing your way back to zero.”  Struggling, or working hard, or always having a goal of no debt is different than having a goal of no debt and then saving a bunch of money.  Granted, people in debt, or without much money are nearly  drowning in the fatigue of just getting by.  Talking about how pleasing it is to not only be debt free, but to also have only is maybe thoughtless? 

I’m going through this full exercise of reinvesting my gains the best way I know how, building a new house.  I will dot my i, cross my T and get right to the ribbon cutting and then I’ll step back and ask myself “Am I doing the right thing?” Making a plan and then fully developing an alternative direction to go in has always been a bit of a nail biter for me, but I guess I should just change my thinking, cause it checks my math and has always worked for me.  

Things have changed.  I am out of the corporate life.  I am debt free, there is money in the bank.  I’m working on a new project.  Everything isn’t positive, money doesn’t fix everything.  And no matter how much you understand the concept, money is hard to wrap your head around.  We have a financial caste system that just has more mobility than India’s caste system, but it is still a tier.  Money only matters if you save it when you get it.  

Have I figured out how to be in one place?

I've struggled for a number of years now trying to figure out how to express myself in one place. Where does the photography go? Where do the business articles go, where do personal thoughts and musings go?

What I know is that I don't want to be at very Social Media silos. I know there are communities where I can share my work, and places where my friends and family can watch my rants. Oh how web 2.0 has been appified, and now that has been cloud based, and now we're going into this brave new world. I get it, i'm an old man on some front. I don't want to be famous, but I do want to do something like how I did it before, but using the tools at hand today, while still somehow not conforming to these god damn silos.

I want to go back to world of "All of this is about me, and anyone who is with me" We can call it a blog, or a communal zine, with some curation, or whatever. I just want all of the versions of me to be ok with each other. And to be honest, I just had a lot of porfessional influx going on, enough that I was too confused and certainly a little chicken shit about it all.

I also don't know about Squarespace. I appreciate the hosting opportunity, but i've never really found a computer that just works in an awesome way with Squarespace. It (the Squarespace web interface,) gets a little clunky over time, and tends get lost in memory after awhile, and I have to close out of the pages, this usually happens after about seven minutes of trying to work around glitches. So i've certainly struggled to get a good vibe with tinkering. I build client sites with Square space, usually with better luck, cause i'm not lingering, but even then, things could be better. Also, the page arrangement requires a delicate touch, and you have to be oke with way more white space than I necessarily always want, but i've not had enough momentum to jump ship to Wordpress or some other WYSIWYG / templatey site, and i've experimented with markup and going back to building pages, and that shit is for the birds.

Much of the problem is that I don't have a vision, I want to tinker and find my voice, I don't think there is an app for that, unless I just want to have a single container blog, and tag everything, and I want more energy to the page.

Lastly, I think i'm inspired. I worked on some side projects yesterday, which left me working 7 straight days, most of them with a cold, and I think i'm on the other side. Maybe i've had a breakthrough.

Multi-function Spaces - The Blue Kitchen - Part 1

Multi-function spaces struggle with telling a good story. One of our questions is "What story does the space tell?" This comment needs a bit of unpacking though. If we follow the spirit of "Form follows function" we are left to understand that a stranger should be able to walk in and see what purposes the multifunction space provides. What if space is at a premium, and the way you live is not single purpose. Do we want the entertainment space, which is more dining room/gathering place to communicate that it is also where laundry is done? No. While our European and Asian friends are very comfortable with laundry being handled in the kitchen, it is not a common practice to see the washer and dryer in the formal living spaces. In this instance we want to practically conceal such function, sometimes this is like trying to hide an elephant in a closet.

In the space featured, we were asked to remove a deck and enclosed porch, and the clients had a laundry list of things they wanted to add new. They wished for a screen porch, wanted a bigger kitchen, and also wanted to figure out how to do laundry. What they weren't sure about was if they wanted a dining room, or a family room, but they wanted to connect with their yard also. For us this meant a series of discussions with the client, in these talks we created scenarios, and worked to increase both the clients understanding of what they wanted, and our understanding of the different ways we could create a space. We all settled on a multi-function space at the center of the remodel, and it would flow on three sides, connected to the kitchen, in an open concept layout (this made sense cause both spaces are humble,) there would also be direct access to the yard, and in a big way, with light and visuals being a big focus. There would slso be access to the yard.

The thing about this multi-function space that is really interesting is that all parties understood that, while we had to work a laundry room into the space, we were leaving the room open to be either a dining/spillover space for the primary clients, with the understanding that they would rent it and the space for others would be very suited as a family room. With space at a premium and three sides leading to another room, we couldn't do a room, create a hall, or leave the washer and dryer in the open. So after playing with some concepts, we settled on the "buffet" as our solution. This concept also went through some iterations before we settled on a vision.

Don’t look back

I’ve been thinking about tearing my past away lately.  This has been me letting go of documents and physical writings.  I’ve started to clean out my web bookmarks. I’ve been donating and giving away things which mean a lot to me, and trying to questions all of my fundamentals.  

Part of this exercise is pragmatic.  We’ve moved into the tiny house and it scoffs at my original Fugazi cassette tape, the one I have to keep cracking open to fix tangles.  So I’ve found my closure in photography, taking artful snapshots of those things I love and then moving on.  We all have to find our way out of the towering piles of magazines and saved milk cartons.  I hope I’ve done enough to protect myself from a future of believing things have meaning.  

Soon what begins to happen is that you go through this repeated process of holding items in review. You move it from its tomb, you touch it, you get the wash of feelings, you move it to the keep, or donate, or trash box, and you try again.  With the kids, the stuff that has the most meaning is in extreme, either something they created that truly is remarkable, or some token gift they gave you to show their love of you.  Take a picture, move on.  And who would have told me that the things from when I was 17 would mean so much to me.  In your hands again, these things are time machines and they hurl you back to another time, but in this reality, it is just a plastic toy, or an article from a magazine.  How do you fight this psychic magic? Move into a small house where space is an absolute premium, it gets easier.  

The past haunts me, always has, why do I struggle to drag it everywhere I go.

Sofirm SP10S

​If you click here semi regularly, you might think I’d given poetry, and introspection up, for flashlights, and reflections on not being caught in the dark.*

Sofirm SP10S alongside the Thorfire TG06S.

This post previously appeared on a message board, a place where I love to talk to people about flashlights. Usually it feels like the people I’m talking to are really into flashlights, more so than I, like they do mods and stuff. The interest levels are like Disinterest/Curioisty/Love of/Obsession/Hacking and making your own. I’d say I’m in the “Love of” camp.

No one gives a hot biscuit about my like of flashlights. And if you’re reading this, you’re either stalking me (Paul Sibley,) or you went searching for (in this instance,) the Sofirm SP10S and I do have some thoughts about it. Those thoughts have been repurposed as a blog post, but originally appeared over at the Budget Light Forum on 6.21.19.

What follows is not so much a review, just observations for prosperity...

Sometimes when I go online to research something, I’ll find a thread discussing the thing in question, but that thread doesn’t always lead to closure, and often i’ll think “What happened?! Did they find it? Are they happy with the pick? What does any of this mean?” Not today people. If anyone comes looking for a compact day time flashlight, which doesn’t fray the pocket, and doesn’t stick out like a baton, and they’re sick of false activations in the pocket, I want to leave them with a story that has some meat to it.

This is where this all gets a bit meta, since this blog post is really a repurposed posting from a thread. For posterity I share it with you http://budgetlightforum.com/node/67336Andy Kaufman, people. I’m not sure what I’m doing with my writing. There are some deep jokes here, but I might be hoarding the guffaws.

Onward!

I just received my Sofirm SP10S. I’m pretty excited. As a contender in the discrete EDC pants clipping category it does great, with just a 1/2” of the light coming out of the pants; the profile in the pocket is also very discrete; the Jetbeam-1 MK only about 3/16” if memory serves me.

The lockout mode (4 steady clicks and then it flashes twice to confirm lock status) works, but you have to get those four clicks just right (maybe there could be room for improvement,) but I’ve not had a single false start in my pocket. I can’t say the same for my Olight s30r baton ii, which I ultimately have to carry with the battery cap twisted a few turns. Going back to lockout mode for a second, if it is locked and you hit the button the light flashes twice, good feature, you know it is locked. If only those two flashes lingered for just another half second, you could probably use this feature to peek at things, without unlocking the torch. I gotta circle back and be clear though, If you don’t get those four clicks just right, you will fall on another setting, like turbo (a double click), or moonlight, or strobe mode-which happens at three clicks.

Today my office partner, who I babble too much about flashlights to, said “Paul you gotta go to your flashlight message board and ask if your light is supposed to do that.” A comedienne that lady.

The fit and finish is great, the flashlight feels weightless, I’ll have to weigh it against my other small lights, I guess the part of the “lightness” is that it doesn’t feel heavy on one end of the light. The metal button has a charm, though it took a while to grow on me. The area around the metal button is detailed such that if you stroke it with your finger, it is easier to find. And I think I officially wish for a magnetic tail cap on anything that doesn’t have a clicky tail. The clip is firm, but not hard to get on/off the pants. The finish is great, matte black with a nice bit of light bounce. Unlike so many other things in my life that I hold precious, I love the patina that flashlights get over time.

Sofirm SP10S, set on high-300 lumen, photographed against a raw concrete countertop.

The CRI LH351D 800lm bulb is hard to explain, bright, and white, but not harsh, with this great glow. This is definitely a floody light, not in a bad way, but it throws off a tremendous amount of lumens around you, in addition to really lighting whatever it is pointed at. To me the light feels very clear and sharp. Moonlight is very useable, it isn’t .05 lumen though, maybe 5, or 10, with the 14500, I suspect the AA battery will be less. The “High” level (stated 310 lumen) is great for day time shelf searching, I’m not usually provoked to go to 800 lumen turbo. Turbo doesn’t feel as bright as the Thorfire TG06S, or the Jetbeam Jet-1 MK, but this isn’t bad, both those torches have a hot center and are bright, but obscure detail a bit. I’ll have to do a proper night time challenge when I get a chance.

Each new torch has challenges, “if only it also did this, while doing that too, then I’d be really happy.” And on top of that, as each new light arrives (I wonder if this happens for other people,) the pecking order for flashlights changes throughout the house. The Olight s30r baton ii gets delegated back to being the hidden nightstand light. The Thorfire TG06s becomes the “work light” to use when I’m doing carpentry around the house. mostly cause the Olight s30r baton ii is always turning on in my pocket, so maybe it will just become my walking and concert light And now the Sofirm SP10S is at my side as the light I spend the most time with on any given day.

The Sofirm SP10s light is pretty solid for discrete, trouble free day time carry, which is what I got it for. I think it would be the 14500 I recommend to adults like myself who had those same priorities. I might also give this light to kids, who have those quick reflexes for perfectly tapping out four steady clicks to lock/unlock and who would appreciate moonlight and strobe. I don’t think I’d recommend it to gen pop users though. I think (for me) the Thorfire TG06S is still the budget light to give to your friends and family, who are going to be delighted at the lumens they can get from an AA, and amazed by the 14500 abilities.

The story isn’t over though... I finally found a crazy deal on the Jetbeam-1 MK and ordered that bad mother. I’ll see if when it arrives I go back to it. I scoffed so hard at that twist to on function, but it is solid. I also have an On The Road coming to. The Jetbeam-1 MK, helped me stave off buying lights. I might have lost it a bit when I lost that light.

For the most discrete carry, with the simplest interface the Jetbeam-1 MK still is the pick. If you want more features and a direct access UI for turbo and strobe, the Sofirm SP10s is the way to go. The Thorfire TG06s is a great cheap flashlight that always starts on high and outside of chewing up batteries, it is a good light. Regular folks who still buy disposable batteries or use rechargeable AA, but say “14 wha?” would be well suited with this light.

*This is true.  ​

Walking to work.

For the last six months I’ve been riding my bike to work. I haven’t used the car much. This is pretty exciting. Trying to dial things into being hyper local has been exciting. The more we get into local the more it makes sense to use the resources around us, as opposed to going out of our way to say save money on groceries. The causality really throws a wrench at your entire way of looking at things. Six months into bicycling I’m so close to the job it makes just as much sense to walk now.

Putting the effort into creating a routine is hard. Having to change that routine is hard. Some of the goal is about shaking the trap of routine. There is certainly nothing wrong with having a healthy cycle of doing things, but then routine traps you and it feels hard to break free from. 

A picture of some unspecified wild flower. 

We’re in the midst of two remodels and moving into an impossibly small house; there is no routine anymore. And really, maybe I’ve had enough of routine. Maybe this is the beginning of my personal disruption, where I can live the rest of my life comfortable with uncertainty, and not feeling like the aforementioned is a negative either.

I have this concert I’m traveling to in the next few days and I’ve gotta decide on if I’m going to drive there, or catch a bus and just try to wing it. I think part of me wants to wing it. I know what the trip looks like from inside a car, maybe I’ll catch a bus.

All I really know is that I have to work, continue this move, keep remodeling both houses and get on the other side of this transition. There is no routine anywhere in sight. I think I’m ok with that and it looks like I walk to work now. 

Another post on the Thorfire TG06S

I lost my Jetbeam-1 MK flashlight.  This flashlight snuck into my life and became a daily fixture and then like that stray that comes to your Backporch a few nights in a row, it was gone. That was a very busy day, I put a lot of miles on the bike, visited clients, had a photo shoot. I was really bothered, I don’t like to lose things I like.  Let me tell you, my hand is just patting my thigh all the time now, just to be sure my lousy backup light doesn’t leave my side. Truth be told I’d love for my lousy backup flashlight to leave.

I think I’ve talked about the Thorfire TG06S before. I’ve certainly taken pictures of it.

BW photo of Thorfire TG06S (illuminated)

This is a budget pocket torch which really is more than adequate and quite exciting for non flashaholic folk. It runs on a traditional AA battery, or if you want to get fancy and sustainable you can run it with a 14500 battery. The upside is that you would be well on the road of not using disposable batteries for a device you use regularly. You would also get such a bright light, in a flashlight that isn’t much bigger than your ring finger.

This paragraph originally started with the sentence “I’m only going to talk about the Thorfire TG06S for a few more sentences.” ROTFL!  The cons of this flashlight is that pocket placement leaves you with almost an inch of the head pointing out of your pocket; I don’t get that. I think all pocket flashlights should be flush. The Thorfire TG06S also chews through batteries. Once you realize you can have so much power in a small light, it is addicting, depending on your use case you might be like me charging every third day or so. This is less than desirable in my opinion, but who am I to complain. I charge the battery in the evening and I’m back in business. Lastly the Thorfire TG06S doesn’t have memory mode. So if you like the setting of “not so bright” which is one click after the starting setting of “holy heck this is really freaking bright!” You’re out of luck, cause the Thorfire TG06S is always going to start on the setting of “holy heck this is really freaking bright!”

The flashlight does have a great clip, and also a great tail switch. The Thorfire TG06S starts on bright which makes it idea for people who like to use flashlights throughout the daylight hours. And switching to the lower settings is just half clicks on the tail switch, you get good at doing it after awhile.

The Thorfire TG06S is the Everyman budget flashlight. No one else should get it. Only the man who only wants to spend $15 on a great flashlight should buy this bugger. And even then said Everyman should still pony up for buying himself a 14500 battery and a charger. Now I’ve taken the Everyman to say $25. This is all about the buy in. The Everyman doesn’t want to hear such shit. I barely had him convinced to pay $15 and now I’m suggesting he get a weird battery and a proprietary charger; tis true... That said on a high quality AA battery the The Thorfire TG06S will still please the Everyman.

That’s the thing about the The Thorfire TG06S, it is a good flashlight. It isn’t the best, but I’m still carrying it daily and it is still asking what I want of it, even though I have other flashlights, it is such a small package I leave with he cons of it, at least for now. I finally broke down and repurchased my Jetbeam-1 MK and a couple of other lights to play with, cause apparently I’m obsessed with flashlights.  

I use flashlights daily, frequently, this is a high touch situation and I’ve decided not to feel guilty about the fact that my desires are very particular given the time of day and kind of work I’m doing. I own half a dozen shovels; I didn’t see that coming, let me tell you. Now that I own all of these shovels I get why my first twenty years using a shovel was so painful, I never had the right one! The Thorfire TG06S is officially a piece of backup kit for me, and it does a fine job working when I call on it.