dir/old_school/rant: V a n n i n g

My initial thoughts were of course a van, as a matter of fact the right choice in van or wagon could very well make you want to live your life out of a car. At least this is what I get when I think about it. Of course I live in an apartment and it's pretty easy to think about how you could live the modern day life of Henry David Thoreau. Yep, Your Walden Pond could very well be powered by diesel. I feel confidant in that, but again…I live in an apartment.

But, if you were gonna live life on the road I'd do it in a station wagon or Van. Not any station wagon or van. Some will work well, for example a Mid nineties Chevy Caprice wagon is as long as a suburban, you can fit a full size bed into it and still have room for four passengers. Long, very long, but an awesome car. Or you could go super cheap and get a Ford Econoline stretch van, of course it's long, and a bit more gangly then the Chevy full size wagon. The advantage of course is the fact that you get adequate seating area, as well as comfortable sleeping accommodations and the extra benefit of premium storage space.

Of course living in an apartment, it's easy to fantasize that your last Gen Ex escape into that Henry David Thoreau way of life may be convincing your erstwhile, semi psychotic buddy to live that life for you. Be like your test pilot in life and hell if he likes it maybe you'd just go spend sixty g on a moderately tasteful sleeper of your own. You'd probably have to spend that much to recreate some semblance of your apartment life, as not to lose the creature comforts in life, but it would be worth the cred lost for the good life lived.

But then while reading Zen and the Art of Archery and debating whether or not if one has read the Tao of Pooh, if it's worthy of mentioning, as having had an influence in your life and in choosing Taoism as a philosophy you loosely live your life by.  Jonathans suggests I buy him the van and he will gladly try this lifestyle.

Hm…

I eventually decided to read up on "Vanning" and the culture of people who love the van culture.  It does not hold true that the station wagon crowd has the same focus or cohesion and popular appeal as the van crowd.  People living out of station wagons are typically considered to statistically be a family of 3.2 people, who do it for short periods of time, dividing there experience between Wal-Mart parking lots, rest stations and some hope for finding a new home and daddy getting a job.  Don't let that deter you if you suspect driving a van is not your cup of tea.  You should know it's important that you could make a difference in this negative light cast over station wagon living. 

The Van Crowd doesn't have it much better though, with the whole child molester and serial killer thing, or worse the whole child serial killer motif that they get.  The van crowd makes you think of weed and hitchhikers, unprotected sex on smelly cramped mattresses and your daughter cohorting with some boy who owns a van and your desperate thoughts that he not be the person who has the honor of deflowering your little girl.  Yeah, you're definitely gonna get hassled by The Man when you have a Van in your life. 

But think about it.  You work and it's probably not much work.  Shit all you gotta maintain in your life is food, gas and changing the oil every three thousand miles.  During the week you park at whatever job you may briefly take that month.  You chill out at coffee shops and book stores, go out to dinner, see movies and have a good time, not to mention hanging with your friends.  On the weekend, you visit some chick in South Carolina, have a picnic, meet her parents and then you repeat, at your leisure. 

There are two ways I figure you can do it too.  Ok, so we're gonna say we're not doing it in a station wagon and from here on out I am not gonna mention them again, they can work but they are more for your minimalist and this kinda person may just be thinking a station wagon is fine as long as it's a Hearse and we don't want to go that road and talk about them Hoarse owning people. 

Nope, we're gonna just figure you want to live your life out of a van.  There are two ways you could do it.  Buy a naked van and start from scratch.  Most people are two pussy to fuck up trying to customize their own van, I can appreciate it and that is a web site all by itself.  So let's say you buy a dated, cheesily pinstriped, pre-owned van.  Say you buy it for sixteen grand, trade in your Honda accord for seven grand, put down three and only end up owing maybe six, you are on the road to living cheap, six grand stretched out over some time, is no biggie considering you don't pay rent.  You get the picture right? Old School conversion vans are cheap.  Now depending on what kind you got, you can do a few things.  

For simplicity, I'd make it all about the standard length to mild stretch van, one with a bed in back, I'd probably take out one of captains chairs and put a counter in with a microwave and possibly a sink of some sort, definately a small fridge and space for extra batteries to run my electrical needs. I'd probably cover one whole wall, likely the one of the drivers side, cover the windows over and mount shelving for extra space and side long headboard kinda scenario.  I'd buy two external storage bins to mount above and place a wind scoop ahead of them. Then I'd lay bungee over the wind scoop so I could also keep dirty laundry up there in a big duffle bag. I'd mount one of them little shade arms and also keep two compact lawn chairs so I could spread out when space and communities permitted. I'd also keep a little grill around, something small and mounted on my trailer hitch.  

Yeah, I've thought it out.  I'd also get my internet connection from DSS dish, cause you can do that now folks.  You're biggest headache would be showering (i'd suggest getting a monthly health club membership and keeping friends nearby and learning how to clean your self with a wet washcloth and a cooler filled with soapy water. 

But you could find some nugget of freedom, not have to work much at all if ever and be free.  Of course it'd suck in the summer time, when it got too hot and it'd be shitty in the winter when it was too cold, but it's already like that and again i'm looking for test pilots folks, I love to live vicariously through the wacky adventures of my friends and while I did spend two years on the road, no less on my bike, I never really suffered and struggled like you might think. For the overhead of food and gasoline, the occasional motorcycle repair and medicine I loved it. I spent my life between work and friends.  My job was my life, my motorcycle my only burden and my friends were a good weekend refugee. 

Shit if I had a vanback then... I might very well be in one right now, typing this from a lawn chair in some parking lot, waving at mosquitoes and waiting for cooler weather, so I admit i'm curious.