The one quality that it lacks that I could really use is a microphone input jack. I hope to give a lot of interviews, and it would be awfully cool to be able to hook a mic to people's lapel. Alas, that cannot be done.

Consumer camcorders have gotten absurdly high-tech lately. One really could shoot a movie with this bugger. It would look better than Pi, that's for sure, and I liked Pi. It's a square lens, of course, but other than that and the lack of a microphone jack it's all I could ask for.

Consumer camcorders have also gotten tiny, which is a problem. I've consumed more than my share of both alcohol and psychiatric drugs over the years (to say nothing of an occasional psychotropic), and my hands are not at all steady. If I shoot this guy without the tripod, the footage will no doubt make all viewers nauseous. I wish I had a 20-pound case for it.

This is my still-shot digital camera; the Camedia D-360L from Olympus. It's an older model; the newer models have a USB port. This camera uses no film, but instead holds 30 pictures or so in a memory cartridge which it downloads to a PC via serial port. The front slides open to reveal the lens. I should have also taken a picture of what it looked like with the lens open, but it seems like too much trouble now. The camera has a flash, but it's a good low-light camera so I won't waste the batteries by using the flash. During my trip, I will be sitting in on the recording of a spoken word album. For some reason, the spoken-word guy has asked me to be the photographer for the album's jacket. He knows I'm not a professional photographer, but he doesn't know about my unsteady hands. Oh well. If he's cheap enough to use me, he deserves what he'll get.

This bugger takes great pictures, though. It also has an LCD screen to help you frame shots, but I don't expect to ever need it. Pablo warns me to be careful to wrap the strap around my wrist when I'm out and about with it.

This is my laptop, an old Toshiba Portege Like most everything I own, it is horribly out of date. I'm happy with my out-of-date palmtop, but I'm not happy with this laptop. The chassis is excellent and sturdy, and I go on my trip reasonably secure in the knowledge that it will not break along the way. But it's not exactly a workhorse under any conditions. It's a Pentium II with a shoddy 96 megs of RAM and 6 gigs of hard disk space. I'm going light on software; I'm using Word 2000 and Publisher 2000, but I've downgraded from Photoshop 6 to version 4. It's not easy being me, you know.

Everything in my life funnels through my PC. I keep in touch with the world via e-mail, and of course I intend to update this and other web sites during my journey.

This is my handheld organizer/computer; the IBM WorkPad. It's an older handheld, and uses PalmOS version 3.1 for it's operating system. I have nothing but good things to say about my WorkPad. The chassis is sturdy and it has all the memory I'll ever need. Of course, I have no interest in color, and I only use my WorkPad for word processing and basic calculations. But for these purposes, the machine is efficient and its four megs of RAM are ample.

Besides note taking and calculating, I do something that most people consider pretty perverse. I write poetry on my WorkPad. See, I type really fast, and when I type poetry into a computer, I can move my fingers far faster than I can compose the next line. So I type, then think, and type, then think, and it sucks. But writing longhand, well, I mean, it's 2002, people, get a fucking grip. The WorkPad is perfect. I activate the keyboard function, which puts a little keyboard on the screen, and then I quickly tap it to form words and other cool literary devices. I can enter data at almost exactly my speed of thought.

The bracket and wire surrounding it attach to the serial port on a PC, allowing you to back up and otherwise share data between a PC and the WorkPad.

This is my knife; a three-inch Kershaw fast-action blade. You see the little knob that pokes out of the blade? When you apply any circular pressure to that knob, the blade flicks open hard and fast. Because the blade is spring-loaded and so easy to open, it is often referred to as a "legal switchblade." It doesn't have the cool vertical aspects of the switchblade, but it's just as effective. It clips into my pants pocket.I receive disability for mental illness. I think of these checks as a contract with the government not to hurt anybody. So I won't use my knife. Really.

Here's a handy device for any sort of journey: the flashlight. It's a small one, and kind of a pain to turn on (you have to give the head a good twist), but it's extremely sturdy. I'm not sure who made it, which is too bad, because I would recommend it.

My cash is in fifties. I don't have nearly enough of them.

This is mace. The real stuff; not that pepper spray bullshit. I don't feel that I'm under any contractual obligation to not use mace. I'm kind of hoping someone will fuck with me; I've never seen mace used and I'm really curious. *note: the mace is fitted with a phone style belt clip for easy access.  

This is an ugly blue suitcase. It holds my clothes.

Here is the thing that ties it all together. Obviously, I can't wander around town carrying a camcorder, a camera, and a laptop with all the trimmings. This bag conceals everything in a handy package. As you can see, it has backpack straps, so I can pose as a student. It has an extendable handle, and four wheels. And while it's large enough to handle all my electronics, it should be small enough to carry on a bus without attracting undue attention. Needless to say, I'll never let it out of my grip.