dir/old_school/rant: T h e   P o e t r y   P a r t y


I wrote this piece originally in the summer of 2000 after a strange, big budget party that Jonnie-of Unlikely- and I threw for some local poetry scene people, few of whom came.  After writing the piece I decided not to post it, for a number of reasons.  In the scheme of things I’ll say this, it doesn’t matter, none of it did, there is better shit to dwell on.  Some of us are assholes some of the time.  Some of us are assholes all of the time.  In most cases we are rarely the assholes you think we are.  

In the end we all really did have a good time.  I remember being pissed when I wrote it and felt wary that I might cut close to the bone, but as it has sat, it has grown more humorous and less pissy. 

So hopefully you’ll dig it and take some useful morsel from it as well.  

This is probably my oddest piece to date. I expect little good to come from it except my odd sense of fulfilling a need to be honest and getting things out. The dynamic of my relationships have changed in the last few months.  I feel free and open and better. I feel much better. To give a breakdown, I've begun cutting the negative people out of my life and cut isn't a good word. To be more fair I have been a impartial observer to shitty things my friends do to other people. This is a break down folks, not a lesson, just maybe the land mark...In this particular piece I'm going to give tons of advice that will help on the essentials to throwing a good party.

How to throw a good party
1. Mull the idea
2. Question the base points: location, money, who to invite and even
your goal
3. Invite your friends and neighbors and everyone you love and dig,
refrain from putting together combustible groups for your personal
amusement.
4. If you like Warhol good, don't try to be Warhol, don't even aspire,
just be you, Warhol was a total kook no matter how you look at it. He was
also creative, had money and was popular in a lecherous freaky clique kinda
way
5. Prepare for the party; clean your pad, make your drinks, do as much
as you can so that you can enjoy the party, most host can horribly miss out
on maintaining the beat of their party
6. "if you invite them they will come" Is a falsehood. I so regularly
call people to confirm and stay in touch about their attendance and if they
are still coming. If you toss people an invite they will gladly take it,
follow up is important, the better the connection the more likely they are
actually excited and enthusiastic, rather then just looking at it as a
possibility
7. Enjoy yourself but don't get trashed at your own party, you will
make a fool of yourself and err in judgement. Studies show that parties are
the number one place where the bridges of life are burned. 
8. Never cut down your guests, never act like a prick
9. Enjoy yourself, entertain, get everyone involved, have fun....loosen
up, get edgy.
10. Clean as you go, enjoy yourself, take a minute to sit down
11. Ride the tempo to group joy. 

Troubleshooting

Of course not all parties go like that here are some insider tips that the pro's use to always rescue or circumvent the wrecks, some of these problems can be avoided before the first guest arrives at the party, they are common sense. These tips are in no particular order

When people offer to bring something, let them. On average-this is a fact, about half the people you invite usually come to your party, everyone who Is considerate enough to offer to bring something should be taken up on their offer, they are also the people most likely too appear. 

"I got it man" or "It's cool, I did everything" 
Feel fear when someone helping you with a party tells you these things, also feel fear if your roommate says this to you right before rent day

Avoid the temptation to co-host the party with someone else. You know how to throw a good party, assume they don't...Sure fired signs that your potential co-host is dud material is if people don't like him much or he goes out of his way to antagonize people. If you are compelled to have a co-host, place him in the always safe Party Planner mode, let him bring the Cocal Cola and napkins. The only good co-host is the wooden pawn co-host, who has no true power to muck things up. For whatever strange reason a party might go bad take charge, this is your party, if you have a co-host he is not to be trusted for he will shriek away from his duties, self-consciously calling the villagers on his own frakenestein connection. Co-host are hideously off key for humor and upbeat actions, occasionally they might have nuggets, but they'll screw it up somehow.

The first step to saving your party is to mock your party. Get everyone in on the joke, make sure they know they are the only ones who will suffer a horrible night. When other people call to get directions and run a "Party Check", tell them to stay away, bemoan that their is no hope. If possible go outside on your balcony, gesture and scream wildly, always enter the room again calmly. Tell your guests one more person is off to have a better night then all of them and yourself included. Initiate Damage Control
proceedings immediately. 

Once you have established a repoire  with your guests and they now know that this is a party in crisis you will find people willing to help make the party better. 

Interact with your group as a whole, play up the positive parts, the endless flow of liquor, that you expected to supply to twenty five people instead of say five, the food....ditto.

Get everyone drunk. 

Play simple group games that are derived from the forced flow of conversation. Suggest horrible classic bad party games, but do not play them. Just suggest them, the thought of UNO or Scrabble at a party will put the pressure firmly on the shoulders of your guests to have fun. Imagination and liquor will flow as everyone does their best to avoid a board game. 

Get everyone more drunk

Slam the effigy of the party at every turn, never your guests, you cannot pick on people at a small number party. In turn if anyone in the party picks on other people, openly threaten them, the angry villager syndrome will prevail with your drunken party guests, who are itching to do something,
anything. Any and all party pariah will be verbally castrated. Enjoy yourself, have fun, loosen up, add a point system to keep count of things you do. 

When stragglers come to the party, greet them like it is an intervention. They will pale, stragglers are open hunting for humor, until they get a drink, then they are one of you. 

Relax the party has been saved, now nurture it and prepare for the next 

read the next piece:
Because he took my bag of illusions away I was left with nothing but the foresight to not do unacceptable things.