My life is weird, because I choose for it to be, lord knows I’m an adult and can choose the mundane or the weird. The staid or the exciting. I like a bit of it all. I like to go to bed at night, going to bed with the only goal of getting up on time for my job, between the twenty-four hour cycle that is my day and yours. I spend eight of them, working for a aspiring company. The company I work for is small, but it has high hopes, often times these hopes make me dress ridiculously as the Village People of One. I get to wear every hat, sometimes the eight hour deal works out to more, sometimes less. It pays the bills. I could live my life on the edge, I could be homeless or all those other wild, torturous poetic things, but my life is weird enough as it is.  

My life is weird, because you don't understand it and because I don't care to explain it. I'm not sure what it is that I should do to make everyone else happy...All too often it requires change, or modification of my relationship (s). So I tend to surround myself with the people who either accept or get over the fact that I have relationships that do not fit within the norm. It is of no consequence that they are all crazy; it is not without intention that I surround myself with crazy people. 

I'm not really sure how to start when everything is centered on how strange my life is. .. 

My roommate hangs by the computer, banging at the keys, grunts of frustration, lining his nostrils. I sit at our couch, idling with my laptop , hoping for some words i feel, to come across, but they don't. I hang ready, stroking the back key. I am always amazed at the strength of a movie, watching Jack Nicholson as he is electrocuted, his mouth writhing against the choke guard. The scene makes me queasy. My roommate stands, asking if I want to read his crafted piece.  

I do want to read his work... 

I'm very afraid though.  

My roommate is crazy, he has been for years, serving as my blue collar counterpoint, terrorizing the working man, while I do my part in the starched and white collared world.  

Drew and I have been together off and on for the last ten years, usually living a year on and then a year off, while we do not admit to it, the main reason why we live together is as much a part of our financial standings as it is our disenchantment with the real world.  

He walks the dog, I flip through porn, still watching One flew over the Cuckoos Nest. There is a moment when Jack Nicholson pauses and the scene hangs with an amazing revelation of tension and depth.  I’m never sure why till now...watch the movie, I don't give shit away guys... 

I flip back through the porn, as Drew feeds Buster; the three legged dog. I show him a picture of a naked young girl on a motorcycle.  The motorcycle is a Yamaha V-Max. The V-Max is the fastest stock cruiser made.  

I tell Drew "This is the girl you get with the motorcycle." He chortles back a reply  

"That is not the girl you get with the motorcycle, If that was the girl you got with the motorcycle, the streets would be lined with nothing but V-Max's." 

He has a point. I still like the bike though.  

The truth is you don't get the girl with the bike or the Ferrari or whatever it is you think you will get the girl with. You don't get anything, the only way you get it is if everything lines right up and despite yourself you hopefully don't fuck it up.  

Can I get a witness? 

What I find in these relationships, from the high and the low of them is a love worth keeping over any guarantee, over any consistency in texture. They are not mass-produced nor widely accepted but they do complete me, they are my friends and my lovers, my enemies and my accomplices.  

There are in fact many impossible obstacles in our path and once crossed or moved, they always show the way to our freedom, it's only up to us to find the will and courage to do things different and ignore the immediate yearning of acceptance for the feeling of fulfillment. And I do not mean to imply that seeking this harmony is free or without consequence, but those people who love you will eventually accept you as you are, as you must them. Anything less is a compromise which will haunt your life.  

Drew goes on to talk further about women; I finish up the movie, understanding that most people probably miss the handing off of the torch.  

 
 
 
 Ken Kessey who wrote the original novel was an interesting fellow and I found a decent mini bio about him. "As a cultural and literary figure, Ken Kesey stands exactly at the midpoint between the Beats of the 50's and the Hippies of the 60's."monition